


to be so lonely

by evoraevora



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Confessions, Keyblade Graveyard (Kingdom Hearts), Kinda?, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, M/M, Organization XIII (Kingdom Hearts), mild spoilers for the end, not entirely canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26403178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evoraevora/pseuds/evoraevora
Summary: don’t blame me for falling,i was just a little boy.Vanitas was left staring as Riku stuck his hand out for him.or if Vanitas was in Organization 13 when Riku was.
Relationships: Riku/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	to be so lonely

**Author's Note:**

> haiii i dont know the entirety of vanitas's character so i hope he doesn't come across as too ooc, but i love him and i think the contrast between him and riku is fun soooo here it is

Vanitas laughed when he saw Riku enter the labyrinth on his own. The other man stopped in his tracks, whipping his head around to the sound. They faced each other for a brief second before Vanitas jumped down from his place perched on top of the wall. 

“Look at little Riku,” he taunted as he walked around the boy, “All alone. Do you seriously think you can take me on your own?”

Riku was still expressionless as he followed Vanitas with his eyes, “I don’t think. I know.” 

The black-haired boy let out a screech of laughter; the sound grating on Riku’s ears. “You wish!” was all Vanitas exclaimed before taking out his keyblade and running straight towards Riku. 

Riku reacted quickly, drawing his own keyblade to block Vanitas’s attack. A back and forth was started, as Vanitas would defend the next attack by Riku and vice versa. Occasional hits connected, but nothing enough to stop the other person. The clashing of two keyblades filled the air as the two yelled, grunted, and huffed. Sounds of the other battles around them were drowned out. Riku bit his lip as he lost track of Vanitas for a split second. A hit from his back had him stumble forward. He furrowed his brows, ignoring the pain and balancing himself again. 

Trying his best to block the barrage of attacks, Riku knew he was growing tired. He knew the both of them were both tiring, as noted from the lessening taunts and jeers from Vanitas, and the slowing of his attacks. Riku was able to parry an attack, turning the battle back into his favor. He knocked Vanitas’s keyblade out of his hand. The clanging of it in the distance let Riku know he had the advantage. Slashing his keyblade down Vanitas, the boy’s helmet cracked as he jumped backwards and immediately towards his own keyblade. 

Riku was faster, being able to warp there before Vanitas could and held the keyblade under his foot. Vanitas stopped as Riku pointed Braveheart at him. Without the visor covering Vanitas’s face, Riku was able to watch the boy’s face contort from fear to annoyance. The yellow eyes squinted at Riku but still darted around to find a way to get his weapon back. 

“Well, well,” Vanitas started, “I guess you got me.” His hands were held up as he took a seat. Riku watched in confusion, as he raised an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” He asked, as he leaned down to grab the keyblade under his foot, keeping it for himself. 

“Taking a break. What? Is there a problem?” Vanitas leaned back, his hands behind him as support. 

“What happened to beating me?” Riku huffed; the end to the fighting made him acutely aware of the sweat dripping down his face and his labored breathing.

“Ha!” Vanitas guffawed in Riku’s face, “Like I was able to do that in the first place, Mister Keyblade Master.” He patted the ground, “Come, take a seat.” 

Riku watched him, suspicious, as he followed Vanitas’s invitation, “Are you really admitting defeat?”

Vanitas had a crooked grin on himself, almost sad and relieved at the same time, “For the first time, I guess.” He stared down at the dusty ground in between them, “I know how this goes. I know what I’ve done. At the end of all of this, I’ll be gone. ”

“You’re being...vulnerable,” Riku stated, his face screwed together, even more confused, “What happened to the Vanitas I knew in the org?” 

Vanitas sighed out a half laugh, “That Vanitas was pathetic.” He sat up, dragging his fingers through the dirt, “I’ve convinced myself that all I am was darkness so _thoroughly._ I was scared when I met you, because you were just so _strong._ You ended up being able to wield both light and dark, and I never knew someone could do that. I was in awe but jealous, mostly jealous. I think I really did admire you.”

The silver-haired boy laughed at that, Vanitas pouting. “I can’t believe that you were able to feel anything other than darkness,” Riku shook his head, “I just thought you were always so angry…”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Vanitas scowled, “I still am darkness, that’s why I am here. I was created by darkness, but you showed me something else. You showed me that I could be more than just darkness.”

Riku tilted his head as he stared into Vanitas’s eyes, suppressing a shudder as he was remembered of another person with the same yellow eyes. “What do you mean?” he asked, soft and slow. 

“I don’t know,” Vanitas gripped at his knee, “It was like you gave me hope that I could be...normal. I know I can’t, not anymore, maybe never could. But you beat the darkness inside of you, what if I was able to do that? Would I still be Vanitas? Would I still exist if all I am is darkness?” He asked rhetorical questions, watching as Riku’s eyes softened. _Pity_ , Vanitas thought to himself, trying to stop the feelings of spite bubbling inside of him. “Don’t take this as an excuse to feel bad for me,” Vanitas threatened, “I’m still strong, you know.”

Riku waved his hands in front of him, denying what Vanitas said, “I would never pity you. I know you’re strong.” The sun beat down on the two of them, as Riku turned his head to watch the crumbling walls. “I used to be afraid of you, I used to be afraid that I would become just like you. Stuck in darkness to the point that it consumed my being,” Riku sadly smiled, “So maybe I do feel bad for you, but there’s gotta be a way to-”

“Stop,” Vanitas demanded, voice quiet and steady, “I know what you’re going to say. Don’t say it. I can’t be changed, I know why I was created, and I know that’s all I will be.” 

Vanitas stared up at the blue sky, squinting from the bright sunlight. He watched as crows flew past, and he turned his head to study the skyline made up of keyblades stuck in the dried mesa desert. He looked down at himself, at his own hands, flexing them. 

“It’s kinda funny,” he started, as Riku jerked his head back to him, “my existence. I guess this really is all I am.”

The silver-haired boy took a sharp breath, looking as if he was going to speak before letting it drop. Vanitas kept going.

“I’ve come to terms with it, at this point, but it doesn’t stop me from trying. From clawing my way through. I’ve done a lot of wrongs in my life, but if it ends here, by you, I wouldn’t be all that mad.”

A sudden sound of shoes on the ground and keyblades scraping against each other only to fall back down as Riku’s body shot up. Standing up, Riku walked closer to Vanitas, holding a hand out. Vanitas was left staring as Riku stuck his hand out for him. Riku’s face was hard to describe. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it held no hostility in it. His eyes were soft and inviting as he stood over Vanitas, casting a shadow on the boy. 

Vanitas took his hand, getting up with Riku’s help. They dropped their hands to their side, waiting for the other person to make a move. 

Vanitas was the first to speak up, holding Riku’s gaze. “You know, I think you were the closest thing to ‘love’ for me,” he would be embarrassed to state this if he didn’t know this may be his last encounter with Riku. 

Riku smiled, gentle and faint, “I would be lying if I said I never liked you either.” He ended his sentence with a quick kiss to Vanitas’s cheek. Blushing slightly, Riku bent down to pick up his own keyblade. Vanitas blanked for a second, blinking before he went and took his keyblade. 

“Well, I think this is goodbye for now, I have to find...my own replica,” Riku scratched the side of his face. 

Vanitas smiled, the first real one Riku has ever seen on him. “Yeah, I have to go and find Ventus and Aqua,” he put away his keyblade as he stilled. 

Riku, who was about to walk away, stopped as well, calling out, “Vanitas?”

“Ah, nothing,” Vanitas shook his head, “I just wonder if we could see each other again.”

“Maybe,” was all Riku said, and it was all he could say. There was a tacit understanding that this was the last time they may ever see each other.

  
 _Maybe_ , Vanitas repeated to himself before turning away and walking. Vanitas scoffed to himself, as he stopped from trying to kid himself. If he could feel, Vanitas swore he would be crying right now. There was an unfamiliar feeling of hollowness inside of him, he took a deep breath. Stupid was what he told himself, stupid that he used to entertain the idea of being a _normal boy_ and being able to _feel._ Vanitas glared at his clenched fists, bringing himself back to his own cynical façade. Forcing himself to pretend anything that just happened didn’t as he prepared himself to fight. Vanitas let his own rage and spite consume him again.


End file.
